


Hiraeth

by Fallenangel_Winchester



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), F/M, Friendship, Homesickness, How Do I Tag, Hurt Stephen Strange, Hurt Tony, M/M, Married Life, Minor Original Character(s), Nightmares, Oblivious Tony Stark, One-Sided Attraction, POV Stephen Strange, Pining, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Slow Burn, Stephen Strange & Wong Friendship, Stephen needs a hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wong is a Good Bro (Marvel), but not too much, possible future, tony has a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:24:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenangel_Winchester/pseuds/Fallenangel_Winchester
Summary: Hiraeth- a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.That's exactly what Stephen feels...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the angst guys. It wouldn't leave my mind so I had to write it down.  
> Still hope you like it. 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.

He felt its presence since he was brought back after Thanos was defeated. A weird sensation that wouldn't leave him, that crawled inside of him and made its home in the cracks of his heart.

Being the Sorcerer Supreme taught him to be more in touch with his feelings and thoughts up to the point he was able to control most of them, yet this was something else.

It felt like a ghost of something important like a beginning of a beautiful dream, warm and cozy then in an instant cold and empty.

While the world was recovering he found himself either sleeping under many blankets to chase away the chill in his bones or lost in the Sanctum's library reading, practicing, studying anything that allowed his mind to stop thinking.

On a few occasions Wong had to pull him away from the books with the excuse that he was moping like a teenager...which he wasn't of course.

Sometimes whenever he was caught standing on the brink of a nightmare he'd hold his breath and the memory of Stark...Tony's hug would give him just enough time to escape.

It happened when he came back to life, after opening his eyes and standing up he felt strong hands pulling him into a fierce embrace. He was so surprised he hugged back still amazed that he was alive. 

The smile Tony gave him was so heartwarming he couldn't stop himself from smiling back.

 

Now that he thought about it, the feeling he couldn't explain appeared after Tony left.

He could actually separate few emotions out of the mess his heart and head was but he couldn't find the reason why he felt them.

Most of the time the chill was bearable almost a hum whenever he saw Peter who insisted that he needed help even though he was more than capable of dealing with things by himself. 

Even the great Sorcerer Supreme couldn't stay immune at Peter's natural positive energy in other words he grew on him way too quick. 

Wong commented a couple of times that he looked like a proud uncle whenever Peter did something good.

Still that gave him a temporary relief of the unusual feeling that he desperately tried to ignore.

Despite everything it crept on him, wormed itself around his soul determined to slowly turn his life colorless.

 

It was depression but not the one he was so familiar with, this one was completely different...why...

Because of the longing

 

The longing that wouldn't let him breathe sometimes, that was so heartbreaking at times he had to bite his lip to stop himself from screaming. 

It wasn't like his body longed for something he didn't know what, it was his soul's cry and plea for him to listen, to move, to run until the cloud that was trying to choke him faded away. 

His broken heart and torn soul longed for something he couldn't describe...was it peace, hope, friendship, love...he was blind and stupid according to Wong.

When Tony came to invite him to his wedding he was happy for him, Pepper was an amazing person and Tony deserved to happy, but why did it stir his fragile inner peace ?

No matter what he couldn't say no to Tony's genuine smile and hopeful eyes when he gave him the invitation.

 

That was how he ended up dressed in a nice black suit like the old days when he was just Dr. Strange not the Sorcerer Supreme he ended up to be, next to a surprisingly happy Wong while they were watching the ceremony.

 

They were beautiful, both of them. A perfect representation of a loving couple, Pepper dressed in a flowing white dress looking like a princess and Tony...Tony was glowing. His eyes were sparkling, he never stopped smiling and joking around, heck he never stopped ruffling Peter's hair much to his embarrassment and sending smiles of gratitude at him and Wong.

“Stephen..” but he couldn't face Wong knowing that he'd read from his eyes what kind of a torture he was going through. 

Actually it didn't took him long after the invitation to realize what he felt, to make some sense and to his surprise the answer came from a single word.

_ Hiraeth _

And just like that it clicked...the sadness, the longing, the nightmares and dreams the way Tony's and Peter's presence chased away the shadows it was all because he longed for a life he couldn't have.

Just like the word's meaning, he felt homesick for a home that never was...that could never be...

A home where he'd be by Tony's side, where he'd protect, love and make Tony happy, where he'd have a family, one with Peter in it because he couldn't image anyone he'd be more proud to call his kid.

It was a beautiful illusion and just like his butterflies it faded leaving no proof behind only the imprint of something precious he couldn't let go.

Still, watching Tony dancing with Pepper eyes shining with mirth was more than he could ask for, after all as long as the person he loved was happy he was happy too...

If only his heart would take the hint.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part no one asked for but it came to me and I had to write it down.   
> Hope you like it.

To Stephen's surprise Tony and he became close friends, even though he was married the genius would check on Stephen now and then.   
When he noticed that the Sanctum was basically the only place Stephen felt at home and started appearing like an uninvited guest bringing take out.  
Wong would give him a stern look and a warning not to touch anything before he'd let him in. Most of the times Peter would join them spreading warmth and positive energy wherever he walked.  
Stephen tried to look like he didn't care about their weekly habit, but couldn't fake a proper scowl to save his life. Tony and Peter's presence was like a balm for his weary soul, so soothing he wished the pleasant feeling to never fade away.   
What took Stephen's breath away was the open relief in Tony's eyes whenever he'd look at him. It felt like seeing him was enough to ease his hectic mind after which he'd smirk and say,  
“Still kicking Gandalf...good. Can't have adventures without our favorite wizard can we ?”  
“It's the Sorcerer Supreme Tony.” but as always his words held no real heat.  
It didn't help the longing he felt if he cherished their meetings as much as he did his favorite old books...well almost he still didn't let Tony touch the books and the relics and it wasn't because of the pretty pout he got in return.  
Somehow the energetic genius, his sharp mind and smart mouth became an irreplaceable part in his life that he almost forgot about what was real.  
Until fate slapped him so hard his rational mind and incredibly loyal cloak were the only things that kept him together.  
The smile on his face contradicted with his inner turmoil, the feeling of the ground disappearing beneath his feet so intense that he barely felt the strong arms that carefully pulled him into an embrace. His heart was pounding in his ears trying to make sense of the words that echoed in his ears,  
“Pepper is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad.”   
Those were the words that cut through his illusions and hopeful dreams he didn't dare to dwell on and announced the beginning of his new challenge...to stay friend with the man he was in love with without breaking apart and ruining the friendship that meant more than the world to him.  
Wong tried to glare him to convince him to either admit his feelings or to suck it up and be a semi decent friend when Stephen felt like hiding from the world.  
When Tony interrupted his daily meditation practice by storming in the Sanctum panicking, Stephen acted like a true friend offering comfort and sassy remarks just to calm Tony down.  
“You'll be a great father Tony. You're not like your dad.”  
They talked for hours about old memories, joked and bantered while sharing a bottle of whiskey then they silently watched the sunrise.  
Before he left Tony looked at him like he had given him the stars him and hugged him. Thank heavens for the cloak's quick intervention, by pulling him back it prevented him from kissing Tony.  
As said genius was walking away somehow looking more light on his feet Stephen had ever seen him he caressed the cloak in gratitude chuckling at the movement that looked more indignant than pleased.  
Since then Stephen was supporting Tony all the time, even when it hurt. He tried to keep him together while he ignored the cracks forming on his heart...according to Wong it was like playing with fire.   
But it worked, instead of annoying Pepper with his insecurities Tony found a balance when joking with him, or that was what Stephen told himself.  
So when Tony called him to tell him that he had a daughter Stephen congratulated him even though his heart broke he let Tony's happy voice to wash over him until it faded when the call ended.  
He was the Sorcerer Supreme yet he was a coward for avoiding Tony and for waiting over a month to visit him.  
Something on Stephen's face must have made Wong to convince the cloak, an almost impossible feat to keep him trapped while Wong scolded him.  
Then because he didn't trust himself and because the grumpy sorcerer was invited too, together they went to visit the Starks.  
In no time they were there standing in the huge living room where Tony was rocking the cradle softly humming to the baby.   
Just like that the nervous pressure in his chest evaporated and he immediately started relaxing. Tony greeted them with a bright smile and eyes shining with pride.  
After informing them that Pepper was working which made Stephen to mentally sigh in relief, he introduced them to little Anna.  
“Do you want to hold her?” the question came out of nowhere, but Tony's eyes were honest and he couldn't say no.  
She was beautiful and so tiny laying in his arms, that he felt blessed to hold her.   
“She likes you...look at that. Didn't know you were good with kids Stephen.”  
All of his self-control flew out of the window when he heard that, his eyes searched for Tony's face as his mind tried to will away his rising blush.  
Tony was looking at him like he'd learned something new and interesting and didn't know what to do with it, but gently smiled at the sight of his little girl giggling in Stephen's arms.  
“Of course she does, don't you love ?” he tickled the baby with the hand that wasn't holding her.  
“She probably expects you to pull a balloon out of your hand or something” he joked.  
“I'm not a cheap magician, I'm the Sorcerer Supreme, that would be beneath my skills.”   
But when Wong honest to God chuckled at his indignant tone, he huffed and said,  
“Fine, but only because little Anna asked for it.”  
He carefully placed her in Tony's arms, gave her a kiss and with a few swift movements four small butterflies sprang to life out of thin air. Little Anna delighted giggles muffled Wong's *show off*, but Stephen was charmed.  
The moment he really looked at her the dream was broken and he was brought down to earth. She looked like Pepper, soft blond hair, round face, small nose the way an angel would look like, but her eyes were Tony's chocolate brown, warm and curious...beautiful.  
Soon after that Wong excused them both and with an invitation to come back again they disappeared through a portal.  
Two weeks afterwards Stephen expected for Wong to tell him that he should stay away, but the stern sorcerer just made him some tea and told him not to do anything stupid as if he could...  
He'd rather die that ruin Tony's peace and happiness let alone allow someone to hurt little Anna.  
So he kept going, fighting interdimensional treats and visiting Tony and his family allowing his longing and love to appear only at night when he couldn't sleep thinking about things he won't ever have.  
Tony kept being Tony, although a bit calmer, wiser and more protective, his new inventions a proof of his increased inspiration and creativity.  
Still it turned out that you can't take Ironman out of Tony, he fought even more now that he had another person to protect.  
Stephen tried to get him to slow down for Pepper's sake but the genius was as stubborn as him.   
“If she was your daughter would you stop fighting for her ?”  
After that he didn't try again instead he made sure for Tony to make through every fight.  
Just as he thought he had his feelings under control and his longing a background noise Tony had to break it with a single sentence,  
“You look sad.”  
The shock on his face brought a smirk on Tony's face and he had to look away to stop himself from saying something stupid before he replied,  
“It's just hiraeth...nothing important.”  
“Hiraeth ?”  
“Yup. Don't look so confused Tony it doesn't suit you. It's adorable.”  
Tony rolled his eyes and playfully pushed at Stephen's shoulder.  
“Ass...” and just like that the tension was over.  
It didn't take long for Tony to find out the meaning of the word and he brought up the topic at the worst time possible...when Stephen's guard was down.  
“You know I'm a genius right?”  
“Oh I really had no idea.”  
“Now you do and since I'm a genius I found about your secret word...hiraeth.”  
Stephen closed his eyes, took a deep breath focusing on the sounds around him to ground him...the sound of little Anna's giggles and footsteps as she ran after the cloak.   
When he opened his eyes he was startled to see Tony's looking straight at him his gaze piercing for a second before it softened.  
“The word...I feel the same too,sometimes.”  
Stephen started to feel like he was drowning all of a sudden, but he took a sharp inhale and willed his heart to calm down afraid of what his eyes might give away.   
Tony wasn't looking at him, his eyes were following his daughter's movements with a adoration and pride on his face as he kept talking,  
“It's funny, but sometimes I get this feeling of living a fake life. You know...like I'm too happy..” he chuckled at his own words before he smiled at him.  
“Don't mind me, I stayed up too late, don't tell Pepper. I'm glad you're here.”  
And just like that Stephen felt a tug in his gut, the chain on his neck pressing down as the eye burned with power. He blinked and everything shifted and cracked and just like then he found himself looking at Tony's eyes.  
Tony's eyes but worried, filled with panic and unbelievable will to fight and he came to the realization that he was still on Titan.   
It was all a possible future. He didn't know which one was worse.


	3. Chapter 3

“I'm sorry. You have to...keep fighting. Stephen...”  his face was losing color too fast, his lips bloodied yet he still gave a small smile as soft brown eyes pled for understanding and forgiveness.

Unable to look at those eyes Stephen let his gaze to fall on the wound that was slowly killing Tony, his shaking, useless hands couldn't apply enough pressure. The time stone was gone, he was so drained he was barely keeping himself upright and his mind screamed at him that it wasn't right, shouldn't end like that...

Then he forced himself to look at the fallen hero his senses alarming him that he was gone, but he had to see.

What he saw broke his heart and tore his soul to pieces...Tony was lying on the ground, all the light gone from him leaving behind an empty shell.

He looked peaceful, like he was sleeping, yet it didn't stop the painful sobs from ripping through Stephen's chest like knives and echo around him.

The moment he stopped crying he found himself lying in his bed in the Sanctum.

He wasn't aware of his surroundings all he felt was a mix of hopelessness, rage,helplessness and pain battling to take over. Something heavy on his shoulders and a deep voice were slowly pulling him out of his haze and before he tried to make any sense cold water hit him in the face.

That did it, his mind instantly cleared and he angrily sputtered while glaring at Wong. Of course it was him, no one was crazy enough to do that to the Sorcerer Supreme and look offended and patronizing at the same time.

“What the hell was that for ?”

“I couldn't wake you up.”

“So you decided to shower me?”

”Look around Stephen.“ and he ignored his scowl.

When he started looking around while water was dripping from his hair he realized why Wong reacted the way he did.

The room was a mess, it looked like a tornado was around during his sleep it took a moment for Stephen to sense that his magic actually did that.

”Ohh, I'm so sorry Wong. This never happened before.“

”That's the problem. You're the Sorcerer Supreme you shouldn't be affected this much by a nightmare. You need to do something about it.“

Stephen's mouth pulled into a fake smile, his hands shaking in his lap as he struggled with the storm inside of him,

”I can't control them Wong. I try to stay calm and clear my mind and...“

Wong was shaking his head disapprovingly looking like a disappointed teacher.

”You're not doing anything, just avoiding the problem. It affects your job and now your magic. Do something before it gets worse.“

Then he exhaled like he was the one being scolded and added,

”I'll meet you at the library for tea. Don't try to run away this time, I'll know.“

Stephen rolled his eyes before he replied,

”If I don't you can always dump a bucket of water over me since that works well.“

He must have been out of practice with his sharp comebacks that even the cloak made a movement that looked like it wasn't impressed.

 

After a long shower and fixing his room because he wouldn't dare to ask Wong for help he found himself sitting on one of the library's armchairs trying not to twitch under Wong's piercing gaze.

It seemed that Wong was in a mood for torture, he was silent for more than ten minutes until Stephen couldn't take it anymore so he broke the silence,

”Spit it out Wong.“ he sounded more tired than angry ruining the impression he tried to make.

”You look terrible Stephen. This has to end.“

”I know. I meditate every day, try to stay focused on my responsibilities what else am I supposed to do, knit ?“

”Don't be so dramatic it's annoying.“

”It's part of my job isn't it?“ he sneered not willing to let Wong to see through him.

In an instant the cloak, his friend wrapped itself around his shoulders like a protective blanket its weight calming him down.

”And part of my job is to not let the Sorcerer Supreme to lose control.“

”Of course, we can't let that happen.“ but Wong paid attention to his expression not his words.

”Also being your friend means that I've got a responsibility not to let you wallow in self-pity like a teenager.“

”I'm not doing that.“

Wong took a sip from his cup his face showing no change, but Stephen was able to notice how he relaxed a bit more. Somehow Wong's calm presence and stern yet subtly concerned expression managed to relax him too.

”You should talk to Stark, you've been avoiding him for two months. He's persistent and almost as stubborn as you.“

Immediately the peace was shattered and Stephen struggled not to cut himself on the pieces.

”I'm busy...“

By the look on Wong's face it was the wrong thing to say.

”I know you both have been through a lot, but I think talking to each other can do you some good.“

Stephen scowled at the suggestion, sarcasm dripping like a poison while he talked,

”Good idea. Should I go and tell him, 'hey Tony after going over so many possible futures I feel like I know you and I might have developed feelings for you that I'm not sure how to deal with. Wanna be friends?' “

”I was thinking more of a ' thanks for saving the world and doing what I couldn't ' then you can be the dramatic, arrogant and stubborn ass you're.“

The reply was so unexpected it felt like a slap across his face, it shocked Stephen so much his jaw literally dropped.

Wong the smug bastard got up and with a final 'you better do what I say' look left him with his thoughts.

 

Despite his confused mind and mixed feelings Stephen admitted to himself that Wong was right, so he went to do what needed to be done.

To his surprise Tony looked happy to see him, he didn't let him leave until they had coffee or in Stephen's case tea.

The same thing happened a few more times under some silly excuse that somehow Tony bought and made Stephen feel less guilty. It was all for him to ease his restless mind and his nightmarish dreams.

 

Once Tony got interested in his cloak and his magic there was no stopping the genius from visiting the Sanctum sometimes even dragging Peter along.

Stephen tried to look like he didn't have time or want visitors, but the moment Tony noticed how pleased he looked whenever Peter showed enthusiasm in his work he couldn't convince him otherwise.

Tony's sparkling and curious eyes, his sharp mind and sassy remarks were the reason why he couldn't stay away from him.

He started to feel drawn to Tony more and more each time they talked and before he knew it, most of the feelings that lingered after he came back were slowly getting replaced by new ones...fresh, intense and oh so heartbreakingly beautiful they took his breath away.

 

On rare occasions Pepper would join them and Stephen would be brought back to reality whenever his gaze would catch the shine of her engagement ring. After that he always pulled a bit back, hiding his affection behind walls of sarcasm and fake annoyance.

Tony deserved to be happy and it seemed that Pepper was what he needed. Still there were moments when their eyes would meet and Stephen's  treacherous heart would beat so fast the cloak tended to wrap itself tighter around him as a way to comfort him.

 

As time passed by Stephen was able to catch a glimpse through the cracks of the masks Tony wore. It surprised him how much Tony could say with just his eyes and facial expressions, the secret was paying attention. He did exactly that feeling excited and incredibly warm whenever one of his sassy remarks pulled a genuine chuckle out of Tony. Then there were the moments when the sleep deprivation would force Tony to drop his guard down and admit things he normally wouldn't. Things like 'he was goddamned purple', 'who needs sleep if they kept seeing the same thing' or look at his hands like he had lost Peter again, but the one that hit Stephen the most was when Tony would whisper 'Can I...' raise his shaking hand in front of Stephen and gently touch his face.

'You're really here right?..not a...nightmare' his eyes pleading for a second before he would pull his hand like he got burned sputtering an apology and something about coffee.

Those times Stephen's carefully built control would snap and he would have to clench his hands behind his back to keep his magic at bay. Luckily Tony was always embarrassed, hiding behind whatever mask he could pull off and the cloak sensing Stephen's desperate urge to comfort would react and wrap itself around Tony's shoulders.

That was enough to relax Tony and pull a surprised chuckle out of him. Stephen would pretend to scold the cloak only to have Tony caress it in a soothing manner the sight warming him up from the inside.

 

One of the quiet days after Stephen had finished his daily responsibilities he sat in the library and drank a cup of tea his heart restless for no apparent reason. He felt like something was going to happen, like one of those nightmarish futures will come to life and punish him for wanting to be happy.

A weird deja vu feel gripped his heart and he could almost see Tony busting through the Sanctum announcing the date of his wedding. Stephen had been waiting for that since the last time he saw Tony, more than two weeks ago, it was unnerving that unease in his bones almost as painful as his hands whenever he overworked them.

 

He sensed his presence even before he knocked, but there was a great amount of reluctance so unlike Tony's usual enthusiasm and confidence.

With his heart pounding in his ears and his stomach twisted into knots Stephen gently placed his trembling, scarred hand on the old wooden door feeling the Sanctum's magic around him soothing his nerves before the door opened by itself.

Instead of Tony's happy face, he was faced with a heartbroken expression, his eyes seemingly unaware of his surroundings before he looked at him like he didn't know how he ended up there.

”I...have no idea how I got here. FRIDAY must have...“

”What's wrong Tony? Do you need my help ?“ he let some of his worry to show through his voice, an old habit he thought he had forgotten, one he used when talking to sick children.

”Pepper broke the engagement, we...fight...Can I get in ?“ and he fiddled with his hands the way he always did when he was overwhelmed.

Before Stephen could swim through the shock that was slowly taking over the cloak reacted and settled itself on Tony's shoulders and slowly guided him inside.

”I guess you didn't expect that.“

Wong's voice broke the silence and successfully snapped him back to reality.

”Wong...“

”Are you the Sorcerer Supreme or not? Go and help your friend.“ then he pushed Stephen towards the direction Tony went and with a final

”And don't think too much, you're giving me a headache.“

Just like that Stephen's  instinct to protect and help took over and he pushed his stray thought away focusing on helping Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about this chapter, but this story wants to go slow...so here I'm.   
> Hope you like it.   
> Thanks for reading. ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't forget about this story.   
> Here's another chapter
> 
> Thanks for reading ^_^   
> Comments are always appreciated.

Ocean eyes gently fluttered open in time with the soft landing on the wooden floor. 

He'd been meditating for a few hours, floating a more than a few inches in the air, steady breath and firmly closed eyes. 

It was supposed to clear his head, to add some order to his messy thoughts and even though it partially did that he could tell that his feelings were being too loud for the meditation to be as useful as it tended to be.

Since Tony and Pepper's break up, he could barely restrain and put a proper sense to his thoughts let alone his feelings, it was like a dam had been cracked and he was struggling not to drown. 

'She said she doesn't understand us...goddamned heroes. That...that waiting for me to come back not knowing in what shape that would be was...was too painful'

Those words laced with so much pain cut through his memories punching him in the chest. He remembered the heartbroken face and lonely eyes of the person who the voice belonged to.

'I know...Thanos and all that...but I love her. I'm selfish Stephen, I know I don't deserve it but I want that something...'

Another memory that brought tears to his eyes, the stinging sensation almost unbearable but he was determined not to cry.

The cloak wrapped itself tightly around his slightly trembling frame giving him enough support to grit his teeth and throw the echoing words deep in a corner of his mind built especially for one person- Tony.

If he closed his eyes he could see him sleeping in his bed, a figure illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window like he was there in front of him.

When he asked,

'Come on doc, put a spell on me to help me sleep.'

Stephen heard the silent plea behind the joke, the slight fear in those chocolate eyes at the mention of magic but there was also a spark of trust that pushed the sorcerer to agree. 

“Stephen?” Wong's voice shook him out of his reminiscence.

“I'm alright.” was the first thing that slipped through his lips. 

“Oh, good, for a second I thought I caught you daydreaming but I guess I was wrong.” he joked, the only thing that gave him away was the tiny smirk that was barely there.

“I was multitasking.” he gave him one of his smug smiles that had a tendency to irk Wong.

He shouldn't have been surprised when he got the same look returned with an even stronger intensity,

“Good, then you can use your multitasking ability to accomplish your duties faster. You have a lot of work to do today.” 

It seemed that Wong won again, even the cloak shared the sentiment before it pushed Stephen to work.

 

To say that the breaking of the engagement affected Tony was a major understatement. Stephen expected for him to return to his self-destructive habits and he kinda did but not in the way he expected.

The genius was as reckless as ever, bold and fierce in fights barely holding back and except for his countless hours of tinkering in his workshop it appeared that he was holding himself together with as much stubborness as he could manage.

Stephen suspected that Peter had something to do with that, the spiderling was almost like a son to Tony and he noticed how the genius was careful not to disappoint him.

 

Of course he still visited the Sanctum but it wasn't the same. The curious spark that made him unique was almost gone even though he wore one of his 'I'm fine' masks Stephen could see straight through and it hurt that he couldn't offer enough comfort to at least slightly ease his pain. 

 

Until a particularly hard battle where a lot of civilians were injured and everyone pointed fingers at the Avengers Tony took the blame without batting an eyelash his willingness to be punished waking up Stephen's worry.

 

The next day he appeared at the Sanctum looking like death warmed over, his knuckles bloody, face bruised from the previous battle and his beautiful eyes haunted.

One look at his face and he knew what to say,

“Did you go a few rounds with the Hulk or a project slapped you in the face?”

“Aha! I'll have you know that I have actually went a few rounds with the big guy and no matter what Bruce claims, I won. Now you too busy pulling rabbits out of some old hat or you have time for a take out ?” 

“I finished with the rabbits hours ago, you're late. I think Wong is available for his poker face 101 class, but be warned he's expensive.”

“A lot of take out then.” he joked back failing to hide the relief in his eyes when Stephen bantered instead of asking questions.

Suddenly the cloak appeared and swept Tony off his feet quite literally bringing out a surprised chuckle when he realized that he'd been lifted off the ground.

“Good to see you too buddy...mind putting me down, I don't want your wizard to send me to some weird ass place because he thinks I'm trying to steal you from him.” 

Stephen snorted to stop himself from blushing because Tony didn't know how close to home his comment was. Despite every rational thought he could feel tendrils of longing intertwined with jealousy wrap around his heart, tight enough to be noticed but loose enough to let him act himself.

“I don't own the cloak, therefore you can't steal it from me.”

Tony winked at him, a glimpse of the old him briefly flashing at Stephen taking his breath away.

“We'll see about that.”

 

Tony stayed at the Sanctum until midnight, his presence a soothing balm for the sorcerer's frayed nerves and thanks to Wong's strategically given remark,

“Stark don't even think about dropping blood on the floor or I'll make you clean it.” that somehow reminded Tony that his knuckles were bloody, Stephen had the privilege to take care of them.

To his surprise the genius didn't complain or flinch at all, he was just watching their hands with an expression Stephen hadn't seen before.

For once his hands weren't shaking as much as he thought they would and he was only mildly self-conscious of them.

 

“Be sure to take some rest Tony.”

“Are those doctor's orders ?”

“If they were would you follow them?”

The amused huff that passed through the genius's lips was expected so was his answer,

“I don't follow orders.” 

“What about advices from a friend?”

“Nice one doc. Didn't know you cared.”

“I just don't want my hard work to be in vain.” he said it with a playful smile, not wanting to he misunderstood.

“I promise on Dummy that I'll be very careful. You should eat more Mr. Wizard or you'll end up like Groot but you know…shorter.” 

His face must have shown some reaction he wasn't completely aware of because the next thing he heard was Tony's genuine chuckle that lit his eyes like stars.

And he took his sweet time to properly show what he meant of Stephen's expression not that he really minded, he'd actually want nothing more than to hear that lovely voice happy.

“Thanks for the laugh and the medical aid. Don't stay too late kids. Good night buddy.”

Then he gently patted the cloak which was pretty much vibrating from the attention before he quickly gave Stephen's hands a soft squeeze and with a final,

“See you around, Gandalf” he walked away. 

 

Pretty soon he learned that Tony had bad and somewhat good days. His good days were Stephen's bittersweet ones, filled with easy banter, pleasant talk and a playfulness he didn't know he had it in him, all of that mixed with the constant itch to touch and hold which only made those days equal parts heaven and hell.

Then there were the bad days, the ones that felt like an endless nightmare, the ones he had no effect on and the ones he wished he could banish away.

On those days he locked himself in his workshop for days living only on coffee and guilt before he either passed out or FRIDAY let someone in to drag him out.

That someone was Peter, Stephen or Rhodey each one of them with a silly excuse on the tip of the tongue to explain their sudden visit. Surprisingly it worked every time and Stephen found one more thing to cherish a sleep-deprived Tony, his eyes soft, his expression unguarded mumbling silly words sometimes even humming a bit, his voice smoother and warmer than it had any right to be.

 

They kept going like that, slowly healing old wounds, building fragile friendship and trust like a tower of playing cards, fun and easy to make but even easier to destroy. 

It didn't take long for Stephen's tower to crash down when Tony ended up in a hospital after fighting on one of his bad days. He didn't listen to orders as usual, barely waited for a backup and rushed head first into the fight without a second thought. 

By the time Stephen was called to help, the threat was under control the villain locked up and he found himself standing in a hospital’s hallway waiting for news, his nerves all over the place.

“Dr. Strange?” a timid voice broke through his wavering thoughts.

“Yes, Peter? ” 

The spiderling was dressed in regular clothes, his face pale and worried, his big brown eyes sad before he took a breath and said to him,

“It's not your fault, you know. They called you too late.”

Peter must have seen something on Stephen's face that made him say that and for a moment those brown eyes reminded him so much of Tony's that he felt guilty for rejecting the offer to become an Avenger.

“I know. Sometimes we're late to protect or save everyone, but as long as we try our best we'll get better.” 

“I mean...I don't want...to stick my nose into someone else's business, but lately not that I've been paying attention or anything...I just...” he was rambling whenever he was nervous and Stephen smiled at how adorable Peter looked like.

“Peter, get to the point.”

His face flushed to the point it matched his spiderman suit and was about to apologize when the cloak left its owner and playfully nudged him.

That was what Peter needed to let out an amused chuckle and start talking,

“I just wanted to say that Mr. Stark looks sad lately.”

I know he wanted to reply, I know and it kills me to see him like that, but instead he said,

“What made you think that ?”

“His smile doesn't reach his eyes and now he got hurt...Can you help him?” and he meet Stephen's gaze.

That was the moment when the Sorcerer Supreme acknowledged the true power of Peter's puppy eyes.

“Maybe...but I couldn't do it without you. Sure you want to help ?”

Peter puffed up like was prepared for any challenge and with a serious voice replied,

“I'll do everything I can to help.”

Stephen gave him one of his rare smiles to show that he was proud of him and gently ruffled his hair.

Shortly afterwards Pepper exited Tony's room and their gazes met. A few long moments that caused guilt to claw in Stephen's belly feeling like a trespasser passed, to his surprise her eyes shone with understanding and she gave him a quick nod of approval before she walked away.

 

Not having time to analyse what exactly happened he pulled Peter along and they found themselves looking at Tony's bored face.

“Pete! Gandalf! Cloaky! You guys have to get me out of here.”

“Mr. Stark are you okay?”

“I'm great, they gave me the good stuff. Let's go.” a dopey smile on his voice as he stumbled to get up.

Peter's eyes widened at the sight and he rushed to help Tony not to fall on his obviously too stubborn ass while Stephen held himself back to enjoy the show because apparently Tony high on painkillers was too adorable. 

It didn't help that he pressed soft kisses on both Stephen and Peter's cheeks in gratitude when they took him home and put him to bed.

Needless to say the great Sorcerer Supreme spent the rest of his day daydreaming like lovesick teenage girl before Wong snapped him out of it.

 

A promise was a promise which was the reason why the Sorcerer Supreme joined the Avengers on their next big fight against a seemingly mediocre magician who turned out to be holding more power than he was able to handle. 

 

One moment he was holding his ground, smoothly using his magic, blending with the others' fighting styles almost perfectly the next thing he knew was the sudden realization that Tony and Peter were in danger. So he allowed his instincts to take over and reacted accordingly by protecting those he cared for. 

 

It turned out that the untrained idiot was practically a ticking magical bomb so he had to act fast and he did. 

Fingertips cracked with power as his magic surrounded him like a shield while his hands cast spells in fluid movements protecting and attacking at the same time. 

The moment he noticed that a wayward spell was about to hit Tony and send him plummeting to the ground he reacted with his heart not his mind. 

He pretty soon realized that it was a bad idea when he ended up crashing through two walls as a side effect of his aggressive defensive spell, but at least the wannabe sorcerer was knocked down and everyone was safe.

The last thing he heard was his name before the darkness pulled him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I hit the tone of the previous chapters correctly and that you don't think I hurt Stephen too much (though maybe I do) but I'll make it up to him in the next ones.   
> Again, thanks for reading.


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